College of San Mateo Computer Online Writing

Unity, Support and Coherence in Your Paragraphs

Coherence

This tutorial has three parts:
  1. Introduction to Coherence
  2. Deciding on a Logical Order
  3. Creating Bridges Between Sentences

Introduction to Coherence

Even when each paragraph in the body of an essay reflects unity and support, readers may have difficulty understanding and accepting what you have to say if the sentences don't flow smoothly.

On the other hand, if your sentences are ordered and connected within the paragraph so that each one flows smoothly from the one previous to it, your readers can follow your train of thought easily.

 

Coherence is when a paragraph flows smoothly due to:

  • logical order of the sentences and
  • bridges between sentences.

l

Exercise 1

Model Paragraph #1:

.....1My worst job was as a kitchen worker in one of San Francisco's more reputable restaurants. 2My assistant, who worked from two to four in the afternoon, only chatted with the busboys and snacked on the salad bar, but provided little assistance for me. 3During her shift, she kept an ear open for the sound of the back door opening, which indicated the manager was entering the kitchen. 4There was no one I could talk to. 5The manager, Ms. Chavez would scold me, "Obediah, you are behind. 6There are many tasks to be accomplished. Work harder and faster, you blockhead." 7I would arrive at work at noon to relieve the man on the morning shift. 8All the co-workers were cold and unfriendly. 9If the morning kitchen worker had been too busy to complete all the prep, I would have to make fruit and Caesar salads, slice roast beef and cold chicken and arrange plates of Jarlsburg, Provolone and Gouda cheese, among other preparations. 10Orders for cold sandwiches would come in; it was my duty to make them. 11The worst part of the job was that the sweltering temperature of the kitchen, combined with my bad nerves, would produce an acidic cramp in my stomach early in the evening. 12I might be going to the walk-in refrigerator for supplies of Dijon mustard or beefsteak tomatoes, and one of the waiters would inform me she needed two bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches on rye toast. 13I would put the bread in the toaster and head for the supply room, and a waitress would holler that her customer was in a terrible hurry. 14Green flies would enter through the torn screen mounted in the kitchen window; they'd swarm on my arms and sting my elbows. 15I was only getting paid $6.50/hour. 16Roaches scurried in all directions whenever I picked up a head of lettuce or moved a box of catsup.

1. In Model Paragraph #1, find the topic sentence, the sentence which states the main point of the paragraph.

Type the number of the topic sentence

reason

.2. Does Model Paragraph #1 have unity?

Type yes or no

reason

3. Does Model Paragraph #1 have support?

Type yes or no

reason

Model Paragraph #2

..... 1The worst job I ever experienced, serving as a waitress at the Wild Boar Inn in Manchester, was terrible for many reasons. 2First of all, many of my customers were obnoxious and demanding. 3When a baked potato was uncooked inside, lettuce was limp or brown-edged, or steaks were not prepared according to their specifications, customers blamed me, rather than the kitchen. 4Other unreasonable demands occurred when they asked me to light their cigarettes, chase flies from the table, or take their toddlers to the bathroom. 5In addition to the customers, I was forced to contend with a temperamental kitchen staff. 6The cooks and busboys were often unresponsive or grumpy. 7If I didn't treat the staff with extreme caution, I would wind up apologizing to customers because their meals came late or their water glasses were empty. 8I also found the job unpleasant and exhausting because it required constant movement and offered few moments of relief. 8Because of the constant line at the door, as soon as one group of customers left, another immediately sat down at the newly vacated table. 9In nine hours of work, I typically took just one fifteen minute lunch break; this job would have been more bearable if I could have paused and rested more often. 10Finally, the most important reason I detested this position was the manager. 11She favored some waiters and waitresses over others, seating the best-tipping repeat customers only in their sections. 12Hovering around during my break, she also insured that I never exceeded its time limit, even by a minute. 13Even when I helped out by working through a break, she never offered an appreciative word.

4. In Model Paragraph #2, find the topic sentence, the sentence which states the main point of the paragraph.

Type the number of the topic sentence

reason

5. Does Model Paragraph #2 have unity?

Type yes or no

reason

6. Does Model Paragraph #2 have support?

Type yes or no

reason

7. Although Model Paragraphs #1 and #2 both have good unity and support, one paragraph is more effective for two reasons:

  • the sentences are ordered logically and
  • each sentence is connected to the one that precedes it with words that encourage smooth transition.

In short, one of the paragraphs is better because of its good coherence.

Which paragraph has good coherence?

Type 1 for Model Paragraph #1 or 2 for Model Paragraph #2

reason

Deciding on a Logical Order

Deciding on a logical order for the sentences in each paragraph of your essay is absolutely necessary. If the sentences in a paragraph are written simply in the random order that you think of them, readers will probably be confused and unable to see how your ideas connect.

This does not mean that there is only one correct order. Given the same details, two student writers might come up with two equally logical orders. For example, in describing the dining room in an old house, one student might arrange her sentences in order from the top to the bottom of the room while another student might move from left to right.

There are many different orders. A few of the most common orders are:

  • time
  • space
  • deductive
  • inductive.

 

Exercise 2


Model Paragraph #3:

.....1The first year of life is a time of great motor development in human babies. 2In the first month of life, reflexes control the arm, leg and hand movements of an infant, and nonreflexive activity is gross and random. 3The baby wiggles, kicks and flings her arms and legs in all directions. 4By six months of age, the infant turns her head freely, crouches on her arms and legs and creeps backward or forward. 5At this age she also sits with little support and holds her bottle. 6When the infant reaches one year of age, she can stand and walk as well as climbing up and down stairs. 7She can lower herself to a sitting position gracefully and uses her opposable thumbs in activities such as taking lids off containers. 8At one, a baby also shows clear preference for left or right handedness.

1. In Model Paragraph #3, find the topic sentence, the sentence which states the main point of the paragraph.

Type the number of the topic sentence

reason

.2. Does Model Paragraph #3 have unity?

Type yes or no

reason

3. Does Model Paragraph #3 have support?

Type yes or no

reason

4. Are the sentences in Model Paragraph #3 logically ordered?

Type yes or no

reason

5. Which list best summarizes the order for Model Paragraph #3?

  1. one year old/six month old/one week old
  2. one week old/one year old/six month old
  3. one week old /six month old/one year old

Type 1, 2 or 3

reason

Model Paragraph #4

..... 1First, the beekeeper should put on sturdy, high-top work boots, into which the extra long legs of a pair of bee coveralls can be tucked; no bees can sting the feet and legs of the beekeeper with this protection. 2From the legs up, the bee coveralls extend protection up the torso and over the arms. 3Made of loose-cut white cotton, the coveralls have zippers in all the right places to keep the bees out, and the shoulders zip into the bottom of the bee veil. 4The veil covers the neck and face and attaches to the crown of a lightweight helmet with an elastic band that protects the head and scalp against bee stings. 5Clearly, those people who are new to beekeeping and may be nervous about being stung should appreciate the beekeeper's suit because it furnishes a good shield from danger.

6. In Model Paragraph #4, find the topic sentence, the sentence which states the main point of the paragraph.

Type the number of the topic sentence

reason

7. Does Model Paragraph #4 have unity?

Type yes or no

reason

8. Does Model Paragraph #4 have support?

Type yes or no

reason

9. Are the sentences in Model Paragraph #4 logically ordered?

Type yes or no

reason

10. Which list best summarizes the order for Model Paragraph #4?

  1. top to bottom
  2. left to right
  3. inside to outside
  4. bottom to top
  5. right to left

Type 1, 2 , 3, 4 or 5

reason

Model Paragraph #5

..... 1My motivation for studying family violence is complex. 2As I met people who had been involved in family violence in my job as a counselor, I wanted to understand why human beings beat or mutilate their children. 3From a psychology perspective, I wanted to find out if perpetrators can change their behavior and how victims can move beyond abuse. 4The ability to change family abuse patterns was important since preliminary research had showed me that this problem was widespread in our society. 5Finally, although family violence was an old problem, almost nothing had been written about its history, so the issue provoked my curiosity as a historian.

11. In Model Paragraph #5, find the topic sentence, the sentence which states the main point of the paragraph.

Type the number of the topic sentence

reason

12. Does Model Paragraph #5 have unity?

Type yes or no

reason

13. Does Model Paragraph #5 have support?

Type yes or no

reason

14. Are the sentences in Model Paragraph #5 logically ordered?

Type yes or no

reason

15. Which list best summarizes the order for Model Paragraph #5?

  1. deductive: paragraph begins with generalization followed by details that explain it
  2. inductive: paragraph begins with details followed by a generalization that explains the details

Type 1or 2

reason

 
Model Paragraph #6

..... 1Often parents create a disturbing scene when they lose control and shout curses or insults at an umpire or referee in a game where their child is participating. 2Adults may also argue bitterly with each other in the bleachers about whose child should have rebounded a ball or prevented the opposing team from scoring. 3Parents even openly heckle coaches, yelling bad names or angry criticism in front of the whole team. 4Perhaps the most troubling spectacle of all, however, is an enraged father or mother pulling a child off the field or outside the gym for a humiliating lecture about a missed opportunity or a failure to perform. 5Instead of serving as a source of joy and learning for the children who participate, children's sports events often become an outlet for nasty, interfering parents.

16. In Model Paragraph #6, find the topic sentence, the sentence which states the main point of the paragraph.

Type the number of the topic sentence

reason

17. Does Model Paragraph #6 have unity?

Type yes or no

reason

18. Does Model Paragraph #6 have support?

Type yes or no

reason

19. Are the sentences in Model Paragraph #6 logically ordered?

Type yes or no

reason

20. Which list best summarizes the order for Model Paragraph #6 ?

  1. deductive: paragraph begins with generalization followed by details that explain it
  2. inductive: paragraph begins with details followed by a generalization that explains the details

Type 1or 2

reason

Exercise 3

Model Paragraph #7

.....1In the country where an outbreak of Mad Cow Disease recently occurred, the English report losses of more than three billion dollars due to the necessity of destroying herds and the import restrictions that almost all European countries have placed on English beef imports. 2As people avoid beef and substitute other alternatives both in Great Britain and in other European countries, sales of fish and poultry are skyrocketing. 3Because nervous French shoppers are suspicious of beef, butchers who sell horse meat are experiencing a huge increase in business. 4Thousands of American tourists are reluctant to order beef in restaurants all over Europe. 5Even across the Atlantic, the effects of the disease are apparent: imports of European cheese, meats, and dairy products are now prohibited in the United States. 6People everywhere are now quite anxious not only about the beef they are eating today but also about the beef they have eaten in the past since it sometimes takes up to thirty years for human beings to show signs of infection. 7Clearly, widespread fear of consuming beef has produced many economic and emotional changes all over the world.

1. In Model Paragraph #7, find the topic sentence, the sentence which states the main point of the paragraph.

Type the number of the topic sentence

reason

.2. What is the sentence order used in Model Paragraph #7?

  1. Time
  2. Space
  3. Deductive
  4. Inductive

Type 1, 2, 3, or 4

reason

Model Paragraph #8

..... 1In the early twentieth century, the Forest Hall Hotel was a beautiful, luxurious resort at Diamond Lake. 2The interior of the brick hotel was ample, comfortable, and lovely. 3At the east end of the main building were many beautifully furnished sleeping rooms for guests. 4In the center were a spacious, sunny parlor with oak rocking chairs, potted ferns, a fireplace and a library of novels and poetry. 5On the east end next to the parlor was a very large dining room where fresh, delicious meals prepared in the back kitchen were served three times a day. 6Outside, wicker and willow furniture sat on the wrap-around porch where hotel guests could relax and gaze at the lake. 7Porch steps led down to a brick path which extended toward the dance pavilion where orchestra parties and dances were held at the edge of the lake. 8A boathouse and bath house stood on the shore, and swimmers dressed in full-body woolen bathing costumes could climb a high toboggan slide and skid down into the water. 9The hotel's stone piers docked rowboats for the guests to use for fishing, turtle-hunting or picking water lilies, and the hotel sailboat was tied to a buoy off shore.

3. In Model Paragraph #8, find the topic sentence, the sentence which states the main point of the paragraph.

Type the number of the topic sentence

reason

4. What is the sentence order used in Model Paragraph #8?

  1. Time
  2. Space
  3. Deductive
  4. Inductive

Type 1, 2, 3, or 4

reason

Model Paragraph #9

.....1Several trends in work experience were clear in Victorian America. 2Both women and children assumed jobs in record numbers. 3Within the business bureaucracies that began expanding in the 1880s, offices employed more and more women as clerks and secretaries. 4The proliferation of corporations created a need for managers, bookkeepers, lawyers and accountants. 5Service work both in private households and the workplace increased: more servants, teachers, nurses and social workers were employed. 6Part time and temporary jobs multiplied with tenant farmers, hired hands, and migrant workers in agriculture and with railroad workers, construction workers and day men worked in the cities.

5. In Model Paragraph #9, find the topic sentence, the sentence which states the main point of the paragraph.

Type the number of the topic sentence

reason

6. What is the sentence order used in Model Paragraph #9?

  1. Time
  2. Space
  3. Deductive
  4. Inductive

Type 1, 2, 3, or 4

reason

Model Paragraph #10

.....1One early legend illustrates the Greek belief in the limited power and human emotions of the gods. 2In this legend, the youngest of a king's three daughters, Psyche, moved from childhood into womanhood. 3As she became an adult, it was clear that Psyche possessed great beauty. 4News of her radiance slowly spread, and men from all over the world began to journey to her father's kingdom to worship her loveliness. 5As time passed, no one gave any more thought to Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty.6The temples of Venus were neglected, her alters became cold with ashes, and her favorite towns grew deserted and fell into ruin. 7All the honors once given to Aphrodite were now heaped on Psyche, a mortal who would some day die. 8Upset and vengeful, Aphrodite decided to visit her son Cupid, the god of love, telling him of her woes and asking him to make Psyche fall in love with the ugliest man in the world. 9Of course, Cupid agreed to his jealous mother's wishes. 10However, when he traveled to her father's kingdom and saw Psyche, Cupid fell in love with her and was unable to fulfill his mother's wishes.

7. In Model Paragraph #10, find the topic sentence, the sentence which states the main point of the paragraph.

Type the number of the topic sentence

reason

8. What is the sentence order used in Model Paragraph #10?

  1. Time
  2. Space
  3. Deductive
  4. Inductive

Type 1, 2, 3, or 4

reason

Exercise 4

1. The sentences for Model Paragraph #11 are in random order. Assuming that the topic sentence should be the first sentence of the paragraph, what is the best order for the remaining sentences in Model Paragraph #11?

On a piece of scratch paper, jot down the sentence numbers in the order they should be arranged. Then continue.

Notes for Model Paragraph #11
Topic sentence:
Pole and sapling-framed dwellings were commonly used by different tribes of Native Americans as homes in the northeast, the Great Lakes region, and the Great Plains.
2A reed mat covered the bent saplings which formed the frame of the Algonquin wigwams with a smoke hole on top.

3The frame of the tipi consisted of three cedar or pine poles positioned in cardinal directions, which created a brace against winds, and animal skins were stretched over the poles.

4The frames of the multi-family Iroquois longhouses, the second type of dwelling, consisted of bent sapling rafters, and the roofs were covered with bark.

5Inside the domed wigwams, Algonquin family members slept on pallets around a fire ring.

6Inside the longhouses, thatched partitions created separate Iroquois family areas, and storage platforms were located above the platforms where family members slept.

7Finally, the tipi of the Plains Indians, including the Blackfeet, Crow and Cheyenne, also depended on a pole and sapling frame.

8A smoke flap covered the smoke hole of the tipi, and an entrance flap covered the door which led to an oval area inside where the Plains Indians slept.

9First, the wigwams built by the Algonquin tribe in the northeast and Great Lakes regions provide an excellent example of sapling-framed dwellings.

 
10These Native Americans all constructed beautiful, varied dwellings from the natural materials they found around them.

2-10. Using your notes for Model Paragraph #11, type in the sentence numbers in the chart below. Assume the topic sentence is the first sentence.

sentence number
should be
answer and explanation

the second sentence in paragraph.
reason

the third sentence in paragraph.
reason

the fourth sentence in paragraph.
reason

the fifth sentence in paragraph.
reason

the sixth sentence in paragraph.
reason

the seventh sentence in paragraph.
reason
the eighth sentence in paragraph.
reason

the ninth sentence in paragraph.
reason

the last sentence in paragraph.
reason

11. What is the sentence order that should be used for Model Paragraph #11?

  1. Time
  2. Space
  3. Deductive
  4. Inductive

Type 1, 2, 3, or 4

reason

12. The sentences for Model Paragraph #12 are in random order. Assuming that the topic sentence should be the first sentence of the paragraph, what is the best order for the remaining sentences in Model Paragraph #12?

On a piece of scratch paper, jot down the sentence numbers in the order they should be arranged. Then continue.

Notes for Model Paragraph #12
Topic sentence:
Dragonflies are not only beautiful insects, but they are also protectors of human beings, as a walk in the marsh taught me.
2As I left the marsh, I realized that my rescuers, the dragonflies, had lifted deerflies from my hair, skin and clothing, saving me from more bites.

3That night, after I arrived home from my walk, I understood that dragonflies had taught me to keep an open mind about insects.

4Soon after the first bite, painful welts formed on my skin, itching and stinging intensely.

5Because deerfly bites are much more painful than mosquito bites, I moved quickly through the marsh, trying to prevent the first bite of the deerflies which were pursuing me.

6When I first entered the open marsh, aggressive deerflies began to circle and swarm around me.

7Since they devour deerflies as part of their diet, the lovely dragonflies were attracted to the deerflies on my skin and clothing and came so close that they brushed me with their multi-colored, transparent wings.

8Then, clouds of big, beautiful dragonflies suddenly appeared, shimmering like rainbows.

9One day in July, unaware that deerflies were in season, I decided to take a walk in the marsh in northern Michigan.

13-20. Using your notes for Model Paragraph #12, type in the sentence numbers in the chart below. Assume the topic sentence is the first sentence.

sentence number
should be
answer and explanation

the second sentence in paragraph.
reason

the third sentence in paragraph.
reason

the fourth sentence in paragraph.
reason

the fifth sentence in paragraph.
reason

the sixth sentence in paragraph.
reason

the seventh sentence in paragraph.
reason

the eighth sentence in paragraph.
reason

the last sentence in paragraph.
reason

21. What is the sentence order which should be used in Model Paragraph #12?

  1. Time
  2. Space
  3. Deductive
  4. Inductive

Type 1, 2, 3, or 4

reason

Summary of Logical Orders

Deciding on a logical order for the sentences in each paragraph of your essay is absolutely necessary. This does not mean that there is only one correct order. Given the same details, two student writers might come up with two equally logical orders.

A few of the most common orders are:

  • time
  • space
  • deductive
  • inductive.

Besides these, there are many other easily recognizable, natural orders for sentences in a paragraph. Sometimes it is useful to combine orders or create your own order in a paragraph.

When asked, however, you should be able to explain the reasoning you used to order the sentences in any of the paragraphs of an essay.

Creating Bridges Between Sentences

Once you have determined a natural, logical order for the sentences in a paragraph, it is important to make sure there is a bridge from each sentence to the one following it.

Most writers use a variety of transitional devices to create bridges between sentences:

  • repeating important words and their synonyms
  • substituting pronouns for important nouns
  • using similar sentence structure
  • adding transition words and phrases

Relying too heavily on one makes for a boring paragraph, so it is wise to use a variety of transitional devices in the same paragraph.

Repeating Important Words and their Synonyms

Bad Repetition
Some students have learned that repetition is a bad characteristic in writing. In fact, unnecessary repetition or redundancy within the same sentence is something to avoid, as shown in the following example:

The huge, gigantic, enormous wave killed the surfer.

Good Repetition
Repeating important words and their synonyms is a very useful technique when a writer is bridging the gap between sentences, as shown in Model Paragraph #13.

Model Paragraph #13

.....1One of the most common yet most puzzling phobias is claustrophobia, the fear of small, enclosed places. 2It's only natural, of course, not to enjoy being locked in a closet, but for some people, the thought of standing in a small elevator, descending into the ocean inside a submarine, or riding on an enclosed airplane for a few hours can produce great anxiety. 3For such people, restriction in a small, confined space is as terrifying as a cobra crawling nearby. 4Some researchers say that this unreasonable fear of enclosed places stems from anticipating death and lying in a locked coffin. 5Others maintain that the fear results from a person's association of a traumatic event from early childhood with a confined, inescapable space. 6Whatever the reason, the fact remains that for many otherwise normal people, the mere thought of being enclosed in a small space causes a racing heart beat, skin drenched with sweat, and overwhelming panic.

As shown in Model Paragraph #13, you can repeat important words or phrases and their synonyms throughout a paragraph to create bridges between sentences. This is a great way to enhance smooth flow!

 

Substituting Pronouns for Important Nouns

A pronoun is a word that stands for a key idea, for example: she, he, it, they, this, these.

In a paragraph you may use an important noun in one sentence and then use a pronoun to take its place in the following sentence to create a bridge between the sentences.

Model Paragraph #14

..... 1The golden retriever is a dog particularly well-suited to family life. 2It has a open, friendly personality and loves children. 3Gentle and patient, the dog allows tiny children to climb all over its body pull its ears, and insert hands into its mouth, all with no protest. 4The golden retriever is easily trained and housebroken and rarely, if ever, chews shoes or furniture. 5The golden retriever's love of the water is so passionate that it even accompanies families into the ocean on family outings. 6Finally, the golden retriever sits quietly beside elderly grandparents while the rest of the family prepares dinner, its head resting in the lap of the grandmother and its tail wagging.

As shown in Model Paragraph #14, you can also use pronouns throughout a paragraph to create bridges between sentences. A good rule is to alternate pronouns with the key nouns they represent.

In Model Paragraph #14, for example, the writer first uses golden retriever or dog and then uses it or its, continuing this pattern throughout the paragraph. This is another good way to enhance smooth flow!

 

Using Similar Sentence Structure

Using the same grammatical structure in several sentences is another way to establish coherence. The repeated use of similar phrasing helps tie the sentences together.

In the Model Paragraph #15, a dependent clause introduced with the subordinator if is attached to the beginning of several sentences, creating bridges between sentences.

Model Paragraph #15

..... 1Target is a store for everyone, unusual because people of all genders and ages shop there. 2If you are a young mother searching for baby clothes, you can find a wide variety of cotton outfits for infants and toddlers. 3If you are a teenager looking for a book bag or a backpack, you can select from many sizes and styles. 4If you are a middle-aged woman shopping for photography equipment, housewares, CDs or videotapes, the merchandise is there. 5If, on the other hand, you are a man in your thirties looking for garden supplies or tools, you can browse through fertilizers, hand drills and socket wrenches. 6Finally, if you are a senior citizen searching for a birthday toy for a grandchild or an inexpensive pair of khakis, you will discover both items stocked in the aisles.

As shown in Model Paragraph #15, you can also repeat the same sentence structure throughout a paragraph to create bridges between sentences. This transition device is less common, but it, too, can promote smooth flow!

 

Adding Transition Words and Phrases

Transition words and phrases not only are useful in avoiding choppy sentences, but they also clarify the relationship between the two sentences they connect.

Before you continue, read and print the transition word and phrase list.

Exercise 5

Model Paragraph #16

.... 1Working as a grocery checker was one of the worst jobs I've ever experienced. 2The job required that I wear an unattractive, tight scratchy uniform cut at least three inches too short. 3My schedule of working hours was an inconvenience. 4My hours changed each week. 5It was impossible to make plans in advance. 6Getting a day off was out of the question. 7The lack of working space bothered me. 8Except for a half-hour lunch break, I worked within the three square feet of room behind the counter. 9I felt as if I were no more than a fixture attached to the cash register.

Model Paragraph #17

.... 1Working as a grocery checker was one of the worst jobs I've ever experienced. 2In the first place, the job required that I wear an ugly scratchy uniform cut at least three inches too short. 3My schedule of working hours was another inconvenience. 4Because my hours changed each week, it was impossible to make plans in advance, and getting a day off was out of the question. 5 In addition, the lack of working space bothered me. 6Except for a half-hour lunch break, I worked within the three square feet of room behind the counter. 7Consequently, I felt as if I were no more than a fixture attached to the cash register.

1. Both paragraphs, Model Paragraph #16 and Model Paragraph #17 have the same topic sentence, unity, support and sentence order. Which one flows more smoothly?

Type 16 for Model Paragraph #16 or 17 for Model Paragraph #17

reason

Model Paragraph #18

.... 1Everyone should be required to take a course in first aid. For example, the need to administer artificial respiration may arise when a friend or relative drowns in the lake at a school celebration or a family picnic. Or, for instance, a buddy might fracture an ankle or be bitten by a rattlesnake on a camping trip, requiring help. Also, it is often helpful to know how to treat a burn from a gas stove or a smoldering fireplace since such injuries occur frequently. Moreover, it is common to become involved in an auto accident with passengers suffering from shock; clearly, the injured would benefit from quick, simple medical assistance. Nevertheless, very few people take the time to learn the simple rules of first aid. As a result, many people, injured or ill, endure more pain than necessary. Therefore, everyone should take a first aid course.

Model Paragraph #18 illustrates dangers of transition words:

  • using too many
  • always putting them in the same place within the sentence

Using Too Many
Relying too heavily on transition words to bridge sentences creates a repetitive, boring paragraph or readers. Remember to use repetition of important words, pronoun substitution and similar sentence structure as well.

Always Putting Them in the Same Place
Putting the transition word in the same position in all your sentences is also quite monotonous for readers. Vary the position of transition words.

Do not always add them to the beginnings of sentences. Instead, sometimes put a transition word:

  • in the middle of a sentence or
  • at the end of a sentence.

Three Cautions about Transition Words
  1. Do not overuse transition words! Only use a transition word or phrase when the relationship between the sentences needs clarification.
  2. Be sure to choose one that corresponds correctly to the relationship between the two sentences it bridges.
  3. Don''t put the transition word in the same position in the sentence each time.

 

REVIEW: To create bridges between sentences, you can use several different transition devices:
  • repeating important words and their synonyms
  • substituting pronouns for important nouns
  • using similar sentence structure
  • adding transition words and phrases.

Before you continue, refer to the transition word list you printed earlier.

Exercise 6
Model Paragraph #19

bbbbb1On May 3, 1999, I bought a Volaré with a warranty. 2After a few days, my speedometer cable disconnected. 3Then I called and described the damaged speedometer cable, and the dealer brushed it off as a minor problem. 4Consequently, I had to wait two weeks to get the cable fixed, which was a major annoyance. 5It broke again immediately after the repair. 6This upsetting cycle occurred four times in six weeks. 7The repairs were free; I was, however, inconvenienced and frustrated. 8Having a warranty on a new car certainly doesn't prevent headaches. ....

  1. 1. What type(s) of transition devices are used in Model Paragraph #19?
    1. repeating important words and their synonyms
    2. substituting pronouns for important nouns
    3. using similar sentence structure
    4. adding transition words and phrases

    Type 1, 2, 3, and/or 4

    reason

    Model Paragraph #20

    bbbbb1There are several ways for people to view money. 2First is the person whose dollars disappear in mere moments. 3To this person, a savings account is like a straitjacket. 4The spender lives only in the present and can't plan ahead financially. 5Next is the individual who hoards pennies like rubies. 6The hoarder may be wealthy, but remains unable to relish the pleasures that money makes possible. 7This person lives in the future, a future that never arrives. 8More common is the person who likes to save, but can occasionally spend without anxiety. 9This person is rooted in the present, but prepared for days to come.

    2. What type(s) of transition devices are used in Model Paragraph #20?

    1. repeating important words
    2. substituting pronouns for important nouns
    3. using similar sentence structure
    4. adding transition words and phrases

    Type 1, 2, 3, and/or 4

    reason

    .
    Model Paragraph #21

    bbbbb1Basketball is appealing for several reasons. 2Basketball is fast, exciting, and unpredictable; a large lead can be lost in a single minute, and many games are decided by a single point. 3Because the basketball team has few members, I can become acquainted with each player's personality. 4I also love watching a player leap gracefully to the basket and dunk the ball. 5But most of all, I love basketball because the game gives me a chance to yell at the refs.

    3. What type(s) of transition devices are used in Model Paragraph #21?

    1. repeating important words
    2. substituting pronouns for important nouns
    3. using similar sentence structure
    4. adding transition words and phrases

    Type 1, 2, 3, and/or 4

    reason....

    .
    Model Paragraph #22

    bbbbb1A responsible mother is sensitive to her child's varied needs. 2When her child is hungry, she must make sure food is available. 3When her child is later tired and grumpy, a mother makes sure a nap or bedtime occurs. 4But beyond these physical needs, when a child expresses a desire for independence or affection and reassurance, a responsible mother monitors her child's psychological health and responds with wisdom and balance.

    4. What type(s) of transition devices are used in Model Paragraph #22?

    1. repeating important words
    2. substituting pronouns for important nouns
    3. using similar sentence structure
    4. adding transition words and phrases

    Type 1, 2, 3, and/or 4

    reason..

...
Model Paragraph #23

bbbbb... 1Under the constitution, the President is commander of the armed forces, possessing the ability to send troops to other countries. 2The president has the right to veto laws that Congress passes, and as chief executive, the president is responsible for all federal law enforcement. 3In addition, the president appoints all the justices of the Supreme Court, judges who interpret the laws of the land and serve life terms. 4While there are checks and balances on these powers, there is no question that the president possesses considerable influence. 5Clearly, the president is a powerful human being.
5. What type(s) of transition devices are used in Model Paragraph #23?
  1. repeating important words
  2. substituting pronouns for important nouns
  3. using similar sentence structure
  4. adding transition words and phrases

Type 1, 2, 3, and/or 4

reason.

 

Exercise 7

1. The following paragraph lacks some important transition devices. Type a good transition in each blank. You will not check your work until you have completed the entire paragraph.

Model Paragraph #7
bbbbb1When using green-skinned or purple-skinned avacodos in cooking, you should remember four important tips. 2, hard, unripe should never be eaten. 3If you must buy an before is ripe, leave in a warm kitchen until the surface yields slightly when is touched. 4Brown patches on a green-skinned indicate is ripe. 5The ripeness of a warty, purple-skinned Haas can only be determined by touching . 6, the flesh of the fruit turns brown when is peeled and cut. 7 , the color does not affect the taste. 8To prevent discoloration, add lemon, lime or orange juice to the surface of the . 9, to divide an in half, cut down from the stalk, go around the stone, and twist the into two parts. 10, it is important to remember how useful are in cooking. 11are delicious served in salad, partnered with fish or prepared as a guacamole dip.

  1. 2. Check your answers.

    3. The following paragraph lacks some important transition devices. Type a good transition in each blank. You will not check your work until you have completed the entire paragraph.

    Model Paragraph #8

    bbbbb1As Native Americans knew, herbs and plants which grow wild in nature are a terrific source of vitamins and minerals. 2If you need vitamin A, for example, you should consumesuch as clover, alfalfa or dandelion greens. 3 you require vitamin B, you should know that wild rice and watercress are both excellent natural, herbal sources. 4, on the other hand, you are deficient in vitamin C, you may want to consume milkweed, skunk cabbage, sorrel and rosehips because these supply what you need. 5you require the iron necessary for red blood cells, you may not understand that mullein and strawberry leaf contain the mineral you need. 6, you lack potassium in your diet, birch bark, yarrow, chamomile, walnut and fennel are excellent supplements. 7 , many and which grown wild can enhance human health.

    4. Check your answers.

    5. The following paragraph lacks some important transition devices. Type a good transition in each blank. You will not check your work until you have completed the entire paragraph.

    Model Paragraph #9

    bbbbb1Avocados are both nutritious and delicious; they have become popular all over the world. 2were originally a native of tropical America,they are now growing on many of the earth's continents. 3Todayplants are as plentiful in Africa as apple trees are in Washington state. 4In Kenya wheelbarrows of are piled by the road with signs that say, "Help Yourself!" 5Picking from the roadside piles, many Kenyans carry bags of home to eat in salads, stray dogs feed on the ones that no one picks up and grow sleek and shiny. 6are so healthy that Israeli babies are weaned on them. 7, the fruit is widely used for guacamole throughout Mexico, with different regions preparing unique recipes for the dip. 8In the city of Monterrey, , the mashed is garnished to reflect the colors of the Mexican flag. 9Avocados are used frequently in French cuisine because are so tasty. 10people all over the world have discovered the joy of .

6. Check your answers.

 

Summary of Bridges Between Sentences

Most writers use a variety of devices to create bridges between sentences, including:

  • repeating important words and their synonyms
  • substituting pronouns for important nouns
  • using similar sentence structure
  • adding transition words and phrases

It is wise to use a variety of transitional devices in the same paragraph. Transition words can become monotonous, so use them sparingly and vary their position in your sentences.

 

 

To Check for Coherence, Ask:

 

1. What is the topic sentence?

 

2. Are the sentences ordered logically?

 

3. Is there a bridge to connect each sentence to the one that proceeds it?

 

 The Writing Assignment

Now that you are at the end of the turorial and are sure you understand the material, select one of the following topic assignments and write about it. Then follow the directions for revising this draft.

Topics (Choose one).

1. Many studetns both work full- or part-time and attend school, somethimes taking a full load. If you have ever both worked and attended shcool, write a page explaining some of the problems or conflicts in trying to perform both roles--student and employee.

OR

2. Think about your own reasons for attending a community college and reasons why your friends, acquaintances, and classmates may have for attending. Then write a page explaining some of the reasons students may decide to attend a community college.

Directions for Revising This Draft

Using what you have learned in this tutorial, after each verb, write the word "verb" in brackets or parenthesis in each sentence in your writing. Then go back and write the word "subject" in brackets or parenthesis after each subject in each sentence.

 

Name:

E-mail address:

Type your writing assignment here:

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Congratulations! You have completed this tutorial!